A major perk of working in a restaurant is all the high class sexual comments thrown your way. Here are a few of my personal favorites...
Me: Here we are! Fried chicken with a side of coleslaw. Anything else I can do for you right away?
Him: Well.....
Me: Go to hell.
Me: I've got your check all set. Is there anything else I can do for you tonight?
Him: How about a backrub?
Me: How about you ask your wife who is sitting RIGHT NEXT TO YOU?
Me: (Food brought out and placed in front of appropriate individual.) Anything else you guys need right away?
Him/Them: How about your phone number?
Me: How about no?
Do I actually tell these assholes to go to hell? Of course not. I have to do the fake "hardy har har" bullshit and walk away. Isn't it enough that you've already asked me how old I am and whether or not I'm married and what I drive and what I'm doing working here? Eat your food and get the fuck out. I'm not here for your entertainment. Or to be degraded. I once had a guy "shadow bite" my nipple. That's right. He used the sun to create this beautiful illusion on the wall of the restaurant. Stay classy motherfucker. Stay classy.
Please remember that your server is a human being - sometimes married, sometimes single. Sometimes with children to support, sometimes living alone. We come to work to earn a living. And most of us are damn good at it. You might like your eggs soft and your porn the same, but that's not why I showed up today.
